That's it!
by Morbid Vesper
Summary: After Hobbes makes Darien break his furniture in half, Darien is embarked in an interesting journey swurving around town.


the  
Invisible Man  
Episode: That's it!  
Summary: After Hobbes makes Darien break his furniture in half, Darien is embarked in an interesting journey swurving around town.  
  
Disclaimer: Of course I do not own the show, the characters, or their personality traits. And anything else that would piss the writers off.   
But the plot and most of the jokes are mine.  
  
  
  
  
Darien is sitting in his apartment reading a new book he just bought. It was a horror book and he was a bit on edge. He had been reading for almost   
2 hours and with every minute that passed he grew more nervous and frightened. That book had really gotten to him. He would continuously glance up to see if   
there was anything suspicious happening. It seemed that everything was staring back at him. Was that toaster going to fly at him? Or that table going to burst into flames?   
Any moment the lamp could start talking. Despite his paranoia, Darien kept on reading. At about half past 3:00 Hobbes decided to go over to see his friend on their day off.   
Darien, having been enthraled in his book, forgot to lock his door when came home.   
As Hobbes was going to park, someone cut him off and took his spot. After a 15 minute frustrated search for a spot, Hobbes barges into Darien's apartment yelling about his parking trouble, terrorfying Darien.   
He jumps up deeply startled throwing his book in to his lamp,   
knocking it down and screaming, so loud, one of his neighboors comes running in. Still out of it, Darien backs up at the sight of his intruding neighboor,   
he backs right into his coffee table, falls onto it, breaking it in half, jolting his nerves a little more.  
  
Hobbes: Whoa.  
Neighboor: Geeeeez!  
The friendly neighboor then proceeds to run into the hallway and back into her own apartment. Charming lady, huh?  
Darien: Dude!! You do not burst into someone's home screaming!!!! Dude!!! How could you!! Man!! I...you..just...table...my...why....ow.....dude!!!!!  
Hobbes: Alright Darien, alright. Come on, calm down.  
Darien: But look!(points to broken lamp, then broken table, then himself, then he points angrily at Hobbes, getting up at the same time.) You're paying for all this.  
Hobbes: Aw crap. I hope you mean money and not....physically. I'm sorry you got hurt, but isn't one person in pain better than two?  
Darien: I used to think so, but now....  
Hobbes: (runs into hall) I'm sorry! Beleive me, I'm sorry!  
Darien: (raising a fist) So am I.  
Hobbes: (grabbing Darien's arm) Now Darien, pal, buddy, amigo, (puppy eyes).....friend.  
Darien: (leans againts wall, sighs) Man. Sorry. It's just you really scared me man.  
Hobbes: You should learn to lock your door.  
Darien: It's that damn book. It's so creepy and I was just put into a certain mood by it. I'm cool now man.  
Hobbes: Well, I don't have anything to do, wanna go get a new table and lamp?  
Darien: Sure. Let's take the van.  
Hobbes: But I just parked!!!!!!!  
  
As they're driving down to the furniture store, Hobbes is murmuring to himself about how hard it was to find that spot.  
  
Darien: Hobbes, what are you upset about? Your apartment isn't in ruins?(thinking) Is it?   
Hobbes: Nothing. I'm fine. It was just a parking spot....that happened to take me twenty minutes to   
find after some idiot took my first choice,(getting louder)even though they knew I wanted it.  
Darien: (moves away from Hobbes)  
Hobbes: How could they not know,(yelling) I was pulling into it.  
Darien: (grabs door handle)  
Hobbes: They could have run into me.  
Darien: Bob?  
Hobbes: Inconsidertae bastards!  
Darien: Bobby?  
Hobbes: I don't cut other people off.  
Darien: Buddy?  
Hobbes: I should have got their plate number.  
Darien: (extends arm) Pal?  
Hobbes: That's it! (swurves car around)  
Darien: AHHHHH! (grabs onto seat for dear life)  
Hobbes: (murmuring angrily)  
Darien: Where we going?(frightened out of his witts, he is still holding onto the seat)  
Hobbes: To get those mother f.....  
Darien: Bobby, it'll be ok. Don't worry about them man.  
Hobbes: Don't worry?! Don't worry?! If you....  
Darien: Nevermind!  
Hobbes in now driving wildly and still murmuring.  
Darien: C...could ya slow down? For me?  
Hobbes: (not listening)  
Amazingly they arrive without getting pulled over.  
Hobbes: (pulls up behind the car, jots down the plate and gets out.)  
Darien: (still holding onto the seat)  
Finally Darien gets out and finds Hobbes scanning the car.  
Darien: Let it go.  
Hobbes: (points at Darien) Easier said than done.  
Darien: Just let it go man. Forget about it.  
Hobbes: (Starts screaming about injustice and rudeness)  
After an hour passes, Darien convinces Hobbes to go get his furniture.  
Hobbes: (getting into van) I'd like to see the hiddeous, monstrous, insincere, creep that cut me off.  
Darien: Here's your chance.  
A beautiful woman coming around to the car notices the bullet holed, beat up, vanilla van in her way.   
Darien normally wouldn't have said anything, but at the sight of this lovely creature, couldn't resist shoving Hobbes' words down his throat.  
Hobbes: (walks around the van, ready to fight) You.........  
Woman: (jumps back in surprise)  
Hobbes: (completely embarassed, rather than apologizing, tries to go with it) ...are a very pretty and seem like a   
very nice young woman, and.....I.......I.....really want to know why you cut me off!   
Woman: What?!  
Hobbes: Two hours ago, you took this spot as I was pulling into it.  
Woman: Wha......how.......I don't remember cutting anybody off. Why are you even upset over this? Just forget abo...  
Darien: (grabs her arm and shakes his head no)  
Woman: Whatever. I'm sorry. Can you please move?  
Hobbes: Y....  
Darien: Hobbes! Let's go!  
Hobbes: (grunts) Fine. (trudges off)  
  
Again they drive to the furniture store. Hobbes is still mumbling to himslef,   
but now over something different.  
  
Hobbes: She was really hot.   
Darien: Yeah.  
Hobbes: Did she have a ring?  
Darien: I don't think so.  
Hobbes: I should've got her number.  
Darien: Oh well.  
Hobbes: I'd really like to go out with her.  
Darien: Don't worry man, you're Bobby Hobbes, you can have any woman you want.  
Hobbes: I want that woman.  
Darein: Come on man.  
Hobbes: That's it!(swurves car around)  
Darrien: Now where are we going?  
Hobbes: I'm going to find her.  
Darien: How?   
Hobbes: I've got her plate number.  
Darien: Here wew go again.  
  
They arrive at the registry office.  
Receptionist: Can I help you?  
Hobbes: I wan to look this plate number up.  
Receptionist: Ok. (types for a while) I'm sorry, we have no such plate registered here.   
They're probably from out of state, and we don't carry out of state files.  
Hobbes: (coldly, and pointing at her) Well you should. (stomps out)  
Darien: Forgive him. It's mental.  
Reeceptionist: (Nods)  
  
Yet again, our favorite guys are on their way to the furnuiture store.   
Hobbes is now mumbling about incompetent receptionist.  
Hobbes: I can't believe....  
Darien: Let it go.  
Hobbes: Out of state.....  
Darien: Please?  
Hobbes: (looks over) Was that her car?  
Darien: (grabs seat) Why?  
Hobbes: I think it was.   
Darien: I don't!  
Hobbes: That's it!  
Darien: Aw crap! (buckles up)  
Hobbes: (swurve car around)  
They pull into the parking lot of a fast food resturaunt.  
Hobbes: It is her! (gets out) Stay here, Bobby Hobbes works alone my friend.  
Darien just sits in ths van and gathers himself. For someone who hasn't eaten since breakfast,   
he hasn't been very hungry after his warp speed driving friend got behind the wheel. After a good twenty minutes,   
Hobbes jumps back in the van looking very pleased,   
and holding up a small sheet of paper.  
Hobbes: Chloe.  
Darien: Good, well, can we go?  
Hobbes: Sure. (gets ready to pull out)  
Darien: (grabs his arm) Wait! (Buckles up) Ok.  
And again, they're on their way to replace Darien's destroyed furnishings.  
Hobbes: (mumbling) Little vixen. That long hair.....  
Darien: Here, there it is.  
They go up to the door, there is a sign that reads, CLOSED ON SATURDAYS.  
Darien: (grabs hair) What?!!!!! All this for nothing!!! I.....!!!!!  
Hobbes: Sorry man, we can come back during the week.  
Darien: They don't know what I've been through to get here. I...it...!!!  
Hobbes: Let's just go Fawkes.  
Darien: (grabs keys) I'm driving this time speedy.  
Hobbes: What? No really, what?  
As Darien heads home, he begins to angrily mumble.  
Darien: How can you be closed on a Saturday? It's just a furniture store, not a freakin school.   
How can they.....I don't.................That's it!(swurves car around)  
Hobbes: I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you.  
Darien: I'm leaving them a note.  
Hobbes: (sarcastically) That's hitting 'em where it hurts.  
Darien: (glares at Hobbes)  
Hobbes: Have merci.  
As they pull up to the building Darien relizes how foolish he's being and turns around,   
at a normal speed, and heads home. By the time he gets home, it's nearly 8:00, and the sun is setting.   
Hobbes goes home, and Darien goes up to his apartment.   
He walks in, looks at the scene before him and shkes his head.   
Making sure to lock his door, he then goes over, picks up the busted lamp and unplugs it.   
He grabs his book and decides to go off to bed.   
As he lays in bed reading his horror story, he forgets all about the hectic day he took part in,   
and goes back to wondering if the bed will suck him in. 


End file.
